Face Eating Tumors, Heat Waves, and Baby Pools

So you’re probably heard about that awful, awful heat wave that has gripped the east coast for the last week or so. It’s kind of what I’d imagine Afghanistan to feel like this time of year.

And through it all, I’ve been too poor to afford air conditioning. Actually, let me rephrase that. I have a window a/c unit, but unfortunately I only have two windows in my apartment and they’re both calked shut. I’ve been so desperate for cool air that I actually filled my bathtub up with ice and sat in it. Sad, I know…

On top of the suppressive heat, I’ve been scared that I have some kind of tumor growing inside of my cheek. I made the mistake of watching a marathon about bizarre medical conditions on TLC last week and now I’m paranoid that I’m suffering from every last one of them.

There really isn’t any reason I’m posting this info. The bottom line is I need health insurance. I also really miss air conditioning. I do have a baby pool that I plan on inflating tomorrow. But I need an air pump. Or a large man with a lung capacity the size of Texas.

 

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