Why the Internet is Ruining the English Language or Why I’m too Old to LOLZ

Two weeks ago I turned 28. I’m officially two years away from not mattering to MTV at all and three years too old for The Real World and selling my eggs to a gay couple for a huge profit.

I am also entering the age bracket where I look at today’s youth and shake my head in disappointment. I’m officially one of those people that still use proper grammar and spelling even while I’m texting and have no idea what BBL, KIT, ONTW or FOCL mean. No clue what-so-ever.

Not only has the internet and texting ruined the ability for people to speak in full words, it has also ruined the capability of writing a decent article or essay.

Internet marketing and SEO has opened up small businesses to tremendous advertising opportunities. It also has put a lot of filth on the internet (and no, I’m not talking about porn).

As a web writer, I take great pride in delivering high quality content to each and every one of my clients. But there are a lot of web “writers” out there who just write pure shit, include a couple of keywords in the copy, and pass it off as legit SEO.

Take for example this little gem posted on Social Media Today. It’s titled “Why Community Managers are Like Bacon” and opens up with:

In  this article, I am going to compare community managers to bacon. I am  going to explain the similarities in characteristics between them.  Before we begin. Lets identify what bacon and a community manager is in  definition.

Bacon is a cured meat  prepared from a pig. It is first cured using large quantities of salt,  either in a brine or in a dry packing. Bacon can come in all shapes,  sizes, and flavors.

This is where I can appropriately place a huge WTF!?!

I think I wrote an article similar to this when I was four. But since everyone adores greasy slabs of pig and a good metaphor, this is somehow considered content gold.

Us web writers are a dime a dozen. But what really sucks are that the ones who actually give a damn go unnoticed and sometimes even un-hired.

Content is key when it comes to attracting a web audience and creating an attractive online brand for yourself. Hiring awful writers reflects poorly on you.

And writers, seriously? Always try putting your best foot forward, even when it comes to SEO fluff pieces.

Shape up or shut up.


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