Tag Archives: motherhood

My Phobia of Children or Why I Will Never Breed Ever Ever Ever

I think it all goes back to me being ten years old and watching The Omen by myself in my parent’s basement. Or it might have been the “Miracle of Life” video they made us watch in 6th grade. It could even be attributed to the time I had to help a sheep give birth at 3am on a farm in Vermont. The fact of the matter is, I am afraid of babies.

It’s not really a full blown phobia. I won’t start sobbing if I pass a newborn in a supermarket or if I see a diaper commercial on television. It’s more about me not having a clue what to do with a baby.

 For health class one year in high school we had to take care of an electronic baby for a week. The doll had a built in computer that monitored how long it cried for, how many times it was held and if you changed and fed it regularly. I ended up putting the thing in my locker over the weekend and failed the assignment because I was charged with “neglect.” I remember how disappointed my health teacher looked when she explained that stuffing an infant in a locker for two days wasn’t very nice.

Ten years later, I am still at a loss when it comes to babies. When I walk past Baby Gap, my heart doesn’t flutter with longing to have kids. In fact, my stomach turns over and I feel sick and I think back to that poor sheep lying on her side moaning with pain as she brought new life into the world.

A 2007 Pew Research Center survey found that 41% of adults said that having kids was very important for a successful marriage, down from 61% in 1990.

More and more women today are concentrating on their careers instead of having children. In fact, nearly one in five American women now end their reproductive years without children.

I plan on entering my menopausal years without having children, thankyouverymuch.

So why don’t I want to have kids? For one thing, I am very, very selfish about my freedom. I can’t see myself putting aside my own needs for another’s 24/7. Now, this doesn’t make me an awful person. It simply makes me an awful mother.

So yah, no kids. Ever. I’ll stick with puppies.